Trapped, with Nowhere to Go
by ChickenDeNoodleyNoodleIII
Summary: What happens when Sakura and Naruto are trapped in a ravine? WARNING: LEMONS IN FUTURE CHAPTERS!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: It may come as a surprise to you all, but I do not own Naruto or any part of it. I know, I was shocked when I learned about it too.**

**A/N: This is my first FanFic, and it's my first Lemon, so shut up all ye flamers. And it won't be a lemon until later.**

* * *

A lone silhouette was standing on the edge of the cliff, pink hair blowing in the wind. The sun glinted off of her jade-green eyes as she looked at the forest eighty feet below her. 

"Sakura-chan!" came a shout from behind her, "Sakura-chan! You'll never guess what! We're on a mission together! Isn't that gre… WAH!"

Haruno Sakura turned around just in time to see the form of Uzumaki Naruto barrel into her, sending them both tumbling over the edge of the cliff, sliding and crashing all the way down the cliff's face.

"Naruto?" Sakura said, opening her eyes just a bit, "Naruto-kun, are you okay?"

Her eyes opened wide as she saw how far they had fallen. She looked around, trying to find Naruto. She suddenly felt a muffled sound coming from between her thighs.

"Naruto… WHAT THE HELL!" She screamed, as she realized that Naruto's head was practically _in_ her crotch, his body trapped, back down, under hers. She jumped up and off of Naruto, landing a few feet away. "What the HELL do you think you were doing!" Her face was bright red from embarrassment.

"I-I-I'm sorry Sakura-sama! It was an accident!" His face was just as red.

" You pervert! Jiraiya-sensei was a terrible influence on you!" She said, cocking her hand back.

By now, Naruto had staggered back up, his hands waving out in front of him. "Sakura-chan, I swear, it was completely accidental!"

"Pervert!" Sakura yelled, slapping him with all her might, sending him through two trees, and landing in a river.

"AAAAAAAGGGHH" Naruto spluttered, coming up for air, "Sa(cough) Saku(hack)ra-chan... (wheeze)!"

"Oh Naruto! I'm sorry! I keep forgetting about that!" came Sakura's voice from behind the trees, filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Naruto replied, still coughing, as he swam towards shore. For some reason his mouth hurt. "I'm okay."

"Oh, well, that's good." Sakura's voice came from above him.

Naruto looked up. Sakura was there, kneeling, holding out a hand to help him out; the warm smile on her face emanating relief. Naruto grinned back, his mouth hurting even worse. She pulled him out of the water and onto dry land; he was laying face down in the bank-dirt.

Naruto grinned back up at Sakura, his mouth throbbing now. He felt a warm trickle dribbling down his chin.

"Naruto, you're bleeding!" Sakura exclaimed. It was then that Naruto realized his jaw was broken.

* * *

Later that night, Sakura was able to fix Naruto's jaw (with much whining and crying on his part), and had also been able to get a fire started. They sat around the fire, contemplating what to do. 

They sat there for a moment, staring into the flames.

"Tomorrow, we could try to chakra-climb the cliff." Said Naruto, throwing out an idea.

" No, that wouldn't work. The cliff wall is too loose, you would end up just sticking a bunch of rocks and sand to the bottom of your shoes." Sakura replied, shooting it down. She threw a rock into the fire.

"Oh…" Naruto said dejectedly, his only good idea being wasted. One of his other ideas was to create a jetpack out of bark, pinecones, and sand to get back up there. Or maybe perhaps building a time machine to send themselves back in time to prevent themselves from falling… but that wouldn't work. They didn't have any coconuts with them.

" We shouldn't have to worry though, right? I mean, you said we had a mission, and if we don't show up, they'll send someone looking for us, right Naruto?"

"Ummm… well… actually the mission was in a week, and we were supposed to be getting prepared for a trip to Sunagakure, and after that, we were going to escort an ambassador from there to Kirigakure." Naruto sat there for a second before continuing, "it was either that, or working as tour guides…"

"What!" Sakura screamed in horror, " You mean were stuck here for a whole week!" the mere thought of that, alone with Naruto, no shampoo or soap, nothing to bathe with, very little to eat for one week, just sent a shiver up her spine.

" Not entirely, Sakura, we could look for an escape in the meantime."

"Oh… hadn't thought of that…"

"You know what?"

"What, Naruto-kun?"

"We should set up a tent, or lean-to, or something," Naruto said, looking up at the sky, it was looking really cloudy, more than half the stars covered by them. "I think it's about to ra…" He was about to say "rain", right when an enormous downpour came down upon them, soaking them both and putting out their fire.

" Under the trees! Quick!" Came Sakura's voice from somewhere across from him. He couldn't see past the curtain of rain. He walked forward trying to find Sakura. He tripped on a log, doing a face-plant in the mud.

"Ugh!" Naruto muttered, spitting mud everywhere.

"Naruto! Get over here! You'll catch hypothermia from the cold!"

Now that he noticed it, the rain was rather cold. He got up, staggered forward, and felt a hand grab his wrist.

"What the…" he said, just as he was pulled forward. He tripped again, and landed on something soft. He reached up to get a better grip to pull himself. His hands latched on, and he pulled a little, realizing how soft whatever he had landed on really was.

He heard a squeal of surprise, and a sharp intake of breath. His face faulted, fear entering his heart.

"Oh shi…"

"NARUTO! YOU PERVERT!"

**SMACK**

END CHAPTER 

**A/N: How'd you like it? Please R&R. I would really enjoy it please.**

**P.S: Please post, no flaming please. Constructive criticism I'll accept, but, please, don't flame. Listen to the LAM0RZ N00B.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way. I was depressed when I found this out.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! I never thought people would actually like my story! (cries) THANK YOU! I am sorry for the shortness of the chapter and the rushing of it, but it was all I could come up with at the time.**

**Random Randomness**

**Lee: Oh Gai-sensei! The youthfulness of this man's rants is overwhelming!**

**Gai: WE MUST SPREAD THE POWER OF YOUTH!**

**Lee: OH GAI-SENSEI!**

**Gai: OH LEE!**

**(Lee leaps into Gai's arms)**

**Chicken: Those two creep me out…**

Chapter 2 (**Can't believe I made it this far!**)

That morning, Naruto finally came back to consciousness. He couldn't remember what had knocked him out. For some reason his legs felt… numb. He tried to sit up, but his lower body couldn't support his torso, so he fell down again. He felt something splash into his hair, making him look up. He could see the dappled sunlight coming through the trees. He smiled, for some reason the sight of sunlight making him happy.

Another drop fell from the leaves above, landing on his forehead. He look closer at the tree, noticing all the droplets hanging off of the leaves, reminiscent of a recent storm. He frowned, he didn't remember any storm. He tried to sit up again, this time using his arms as supports. He made it up… almost. The grass was too slippery to get a grip on, so he slipped again, his arms flying wide. His hand hit something. He looked over at the offending something, and realized that the something had pink hair and red dress. He stared at the unconscious form, wondering what it was.

Then it hit him, literally. Naruto flew back a few feet as he was hit by the half-assed punch. He suddenly remembered why he had been unconscious. The softness of Sakura's breasts under his cheek and hands, the terror, the uber-powered slap. He still had no clue as to why his legs were numb and why he couldn't use them properly, but it probably had something to do with the fact that Sakura had super-human strength, something he sometimes he forgot.

"Naru…to," came a murmur from Sakura, rolling over, so that she now faced Naruto. Naruto cringed, expecting a wicked tirade about what a pervert he was. He then noticed that she was still asleep, and her eyes were a little puffy, as though she had been crying. "Naruto, I'm… sorry." She muttered, talking in her sleep. A single tear rolled down the side of her face.

Naruto, stricken, crawled over, and wiped the tear off of her face, caressing her cheek. Sakura opened her eyes slowly, greeted by the sight of a shock of yellow hair and dark blue eyes, filled with concern.

" Sakura-chan." Naruto smiled warmly, realizing she was awake.

"Naruto, you're okay!" Sakura said, latching on to him, sobbing into his chest.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, after I hit you, you flew through several trees, and you crashed into one huge tree, leaving a gigantic gouge in the side of it, and I could here something crack. I couldn't find you for the longest time." She said crying, she came up for air, her eyes puffy, she looked up at his face, still crying. " I finally found you, and you were unconscious, and I had accidentally fractured your lower spine. I fixed it, but… you were so still… so cold in my arms. I thought I had lost you until I realized that you were breathing. I don't know what I would have done if you were dead!" she burst into a fresh round of tears. Then, slowing down, she stopped crying, and fell asleep against him, hiccupping occasionally.

Naruto was utterly shocked at her confession. Sakura actually cared about him. She would have mourned if he died, instead of celebrating; throwing a Happy Death of Naruto party for the whole town, serving cakes with pictures of him, with his eyes X-ed out. But she wouldn't, she would cry at his passing.

Naruto paused for a second, wondering why he was thinking about when he died… weird. Anyway, the point being though, Sakura cared about him. Today was turning out to be a really nice day.

Naruto also realized something else at that moment.

"Sakura-chan… Sakura-chan, I need you to get up." He said, leaning on one arm and trying to poke her awake with the other. " Sakura, I really, _really_ need you to get up."

Sakura woke up slowly as Naruto's prodding became more urgent.

" What is it Naruto-kun?" She asked, sleepily.

" I really got to go!"

"Go where? We can't go anywhere from down here."

" No! I have to _GO!_" Naruto said, urging her off of him.

" Oh!" squeaked Sakura, turning pink at the thought.

" So please get up!"

" Oh! Yeah, hang on!" She said, standing, holding out a hand to help him up.

" Thanks!" Said Naruto, accepting the hand, pulling himself up. He still couldn't control his legs that well, and he overbalanced falling forwards. Fortunately, Sakura moved in to catch him. Unfortunately, she wasn't prepared for Naruto to try to grab her, flailing wildly, and she too, overbalanced, sending them both tumbling to the ground. Naruto was lying on top of her, breathing hard. He lifted his head up, and was met by a pair of jade eyes.

That was when they noticed how close they were, both their faces turning slightly pink.

" Naruto-kun…" Murmured Sakura, bringing her face closer to Naruto's.

"Sakura-chan…" Naruto said, his face turning pinker. He lowered his face toward Sakura's.

All of the sudden, Naruto's face turned blue, a look of intense pain on his features.

"Got…to…go…NOW!" Naruto yelled. Using only his arms, Naruto pulled himself into the forest, up a tree, and onto a branch, where he pulled down his pants. He hung from the branch (not like that you PERVS). A steady stream of yellow suddenly erupted from his groin, making a slight hissing sound as it fell onto the leaves below.

Sakura lay back where she was, moment spoiled. Her face flushed deep red at the thought that Naruto had almost kissed her. Her faced turned even deeper red at the thought that she would have enjoyed it.

She got up, still blushing, to go look for Naruto.

"Ahhhhh, now that feels better!" Naruto exclaimed happily, still hanging from the branch. " Now how do I get down from here?"

And that's how Sakura found him, hanging there from a tree, ass bared to all the world.

" Wow! Nice ass." She thought. She blushed, realizing what she had just thought, and blushing even harder when she thought that she would like to feel that ass.

"Naruto! Get your ass down here!" She screamed. There it was again, the thought of his ass.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelped, realizing what Sakura was seeing… him with his pants down. He panicked, trying to pull up his pants with one hand, still hanging on with the other. He was moving too much for the poor branch, and it just snapped off. (should have mentioned it… but it wasn't a very big branch)

"AGGGGGGGGH!" Naruto screamed, landing eleven feet below.

" Naruto!" All embarrassing thoughts temporarily forgotten, she rushed over to her fallen friend. He was face down in a puddle (not _that_ puddle), and unconscious, again.

"Oi vey." Thought Sakura, " How does this keep happening?"

She flipped him over, removed his irritatingly orange jacket, and the black shirt below it. She checked his head and torso for any injuries, finding only a goose egg and a few bruises. She noticed how nicely his muscles felt under her hands. She didn't realize though, that he was almost completely naked, his pants still not fully pulled up.

As her hands were moving down across his six-pack, she went past it and felt… something. A deep, deep, deep (cut, paste, repeat 500 times) blush crossed her face. She realized that Naruto was _very_ well endowed, and could feel it for herself. Thousands of perverted thoughts were flashing through her head, at a mile a second.

She passed out from the blood rushing to her head, laying across Naruto's unconscious form, hand still on his crotch. There was a small smile on Naruto's sleepingface.


	3. Chapter 3

ChickenDeNoodleyNoodleIII: Arigato, thank you, gracias, and whatever other languages you can say thank you with, for all of the wonderful reviews! (bursts into tears) Oh, how wonderful it is to be appreciated.

**Lee: So youthful! It brings tears to my eyes too!**

**Gai: Yes! We shall use his youthfulness to help spread its wonder and beauty!**

**(They both whip out empty bottles, and start filling them with Chicken's tears)**

**Lee: Gai-sensei, once again, your plans are wonderful!**

**Gai: I know, I know… Now, how much do you think these'll sell for on Ebay?**

**Oh yeah, and another funny thing, though I doubt you care, I was listening to Bon Jovi's "Shot Thru the Heart" while writing most of the second chapter.**

**Oh yeah, and before I forget…**

**Disclaimer: Folks, I have terrible news, as it turns out, Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, not I. I know, how depressing… But I shall survive, though with a broken heart.

* * *

**

Chapter 3 (**Me so happy! Ein feuer brennt die mein hertz!**)(**German**)(**Rough translation: A fire burns in my heart**)(**Oh yeah, a funny thing, Einstein means one stone**)

They sat there, staring hungrily at the fish that were roasting on a spit over their fire. While they were waiting, they would throw glances at each other, a slight blush appearing on their faces if they ever made eye contact.

_And she called me a pervert_, Naruto thought, thinking back to earlier that morning. He had woken up to find Sakura laying on top of him, unconscious, with her and wrapped around his cock. It made him hard, _reallllly_ hard. It also made him blush, _reallllly_ blush. Then he ruined the entire thing by screaming "Sakura-chan!" right in her ear, which woke her up, where she realized what she was holding on to, which made her pass out from the blood rushing to her head, _again_. Naruto, still aroused, realized his legs were working again, and ran behind a nearby tree, where he masturbated for about an hour, and after his fifth ejaculation, pulled up his pants, walked over to Sakura, lay down beside her, and passed out from the physical exertion. _Then again, I did jack off at the thought of her holding me…_.

They both had woken up hours later, to find that it was roughly three o'clock. Of course, they weren't entirely sure, because Naruto's watch had broken after they fell off the cliff.

"We should set up camp." Sakura had said, a deep blush on her face. She had thought about how nice Naruto had felt in her hand.

"Yeah." Naruto replied, thinking similar thoughts. He face was a similar red to her's.

"I…uh…I'll go catch dinner." Sakura told Naruto, catching him by surprise, and tearing him from his thoughts. Grabbing a stick, she had pulled out a long thread and a needle, she tied the thread to the stick, bent the needle into a hook-ish shape using her strength.

"Where did you get that!" Naruto exclaimed in wonder.

" I'm a med-nin silly, It's from my suture kit I carry if I can't heal large cuts or gashes using jutsus." She had replied, with a smile.

Naruto smiled back, "Oh, of course." After that, he had made a campfire, and she came back with several nicely sized fish.

"Yeah…thanks for catching dinner." Naruto said, scratching his head.

"Oh, no problem" Sakura replied, blushing harder. She had been thinking _naughty_ thoughts (imagine Austin Powers saying that, it seems funnier).

"AH!" Naruto suddenly yelled, "The fish are burning!"

"Oh no!" Sakura shouted back, all her hard work… and she was out of needles.

"Saved 'em!" Naruto said in triumph, holding the smoking spit by the end, the burning fish slowly sliding down towards his hand. "HOT!" Naruto screamed in pain, as the smoldering fish touched his hand. They were hot. Very hot. So very, very hot. So hot that Naruto threw the spit in the air, shaking his burned hand.

"Naruto!" Sakura watched in horror as the spit came towards the ground. With speed and desperation (and hunger) unknown to man, she dove to save their meal. Unfortunately, she was moving too fast to catch the roasted fish, and she passed right under them. She hit the ground and rolled for a few feet. She came to a stop just in time to watch the fish land in the dirt.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed. Then she watched as most of the fish crumbled into ashes. Anger filled her mind, in the same way those fish would have filled her stomach.

"Naruto." She said calmly, looking at said ninja, "Naruto, please come here."

"Uh…. Okay?" He said, taking a step towards her.

" A little closer please." She said, smiling sweetly at him.

"Um… alright." He said taking another step closer. His heart was thudding in his chest.

"Still too far away. I need you standing _riiiight_ in front of me." She told him, that creepy smile still on her face.

"Okaaaay." Naruto said, moving towards her. In a few steps, he was right in front of her, looking slightly down at her. His heart now in his throat.

"Naruto…" She said his name in a calming, condoling voice. She grabbed him by the shoulders. She stood on tiptoe, looking directly into his face. "Do you know what you just did?"

"Uh… Ummmmmmm…" Naruto couldn't think, sweat pouring down his face. He didn't want to answer the question.

"Answer me." She commanded, putting her forehead to his.

"Ruined… our food?" Naruto replied, tears filling his eyes, sweat soaking into his shirt.

"Yes… you did." She said back. Then she did something Naruto had no reason to expect, in fact, he never would have guessed what was about to happen, even if it had been guaranteed to happen. He never would have even believed it would happen, even if Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Jehova, Kami, or any of those other important religious figures, had told him it was going to happen.

Guess what happened… She kissed him.

It wasn't a passionate kiss, or a chaste one, it was somewhere in between.

She pulled away, "Uhhhhhh" was all Naruto was able to say, could say, before he was flying through the air, Sakura's fist in his gut.

"YOU FUCKING RUINED THE ONLY FOOD WE HAVE! I'LL KILL YOU!" Sakura screamed, watching as Naruto crashed through trees, literally. He landed a hundred feet, and twenty trees, away, laying on his back. He was breathing heavily.

She was on top of him, and she socked him in the face. "GRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, scaring flocks of birds away.

* * *

_Somewhere in Konoha…_

"GRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" came the echo, from miles away.

"Whoa." Was all Kakashi could say.

"No kidding." Replied Anko, sitting beside him. They had been eating dango (that's the name of 'em, right?) dumplings together.

* * *

_Back with Naruto and Sakura…_

She punched him a few more times, just for good measure. Then, out of steam, she broke down crying.

"I'm… so… hungry…" She stared down at Naruto's beaten form, wondering how _he'd_ taste. She then realized that he had blood coming out of his mouth.

"Ah!' She exclaimed. She lifted his shirt, noticing the bruise that covered his stomach. She touched it, and Naruto's entire body flinched. He let out a groan.

"Owwwwww…" was all that came out of him.

She grew concerned, worried that there might be internal bleeding. She made some hand signs, then placed her hands over his stomach, right above the Kyuubi's curse seal. Chakra was crackling between them. She put her hands on the seal, and started pumping chakra into Naruto's body, willing it to heal.

She noticed, with relief, that the gargantuan bruise was receding. After about ten straight minutes of pumping chakra into him, she ran out. She was too tired to do any more. She just lay down beside him, and fell asleep, his bruise completely gone.

* * *

**Sorry to say this, but the Kyuubi will not be part of this fanfic, just the mentioning of him. If any of you have a problem with this, bite me.**

**So how'd you like it? Cool update, crappy (semi)cliffhanger? Crappy update, crappy cliffhanger? Please R&R.**

**Oh yeah, and if you have anything important to say, any suggestions, please email me. It's on my profile.**


	4. Chapter 4 LEMON

**Disclaimer: (a tape starts playing, a voice begins talking)...(strained) I…do…not…own any… part of Naruto. I do not own any… of the characters… I am not being held at gunpoint to read a script. Masashi… how do you pronounce this? … thanks… Kishimoto owns this. I only write FanFics based on characters and locations found in manga written by Kishimoto-sensei… did I really have to say that… yeah… okay… all right. (Recording ends)**

**Lee: As it seems that Chicken-san has passed out from all of your youthful reviews and comments, we have come to replace him in his Author Notes/Ranting portion of his fanfiction.**

**Gai: Yes. And as it turns out, his youthful tears of joy sold for 2,000 ryou a bottle on Ebay, and we've sold about twenty bottles so far, and we are making plenty of youthful money.**

**Lee: Yes! Soon, we shall have enough tears of youth to create a youthful empire!**

**(both Gai and Lee begin cackling evilly… um… I mean youthfully)**

**Anyway, if you couldn't tell, I've made Lee and Gai my officially unofficial mascots. Personally, the two creep me out, but Yuri likes them (read my profile). Oh yeah, and for those who have read my profile, and thinks putting my political rantings on there is wrong, well that's too bad.**

**And I apologize for my terrible writing; I suck at adding fluff and meaningless details. Without those though… my stories sound……… _rushed_.**

**Anyway, please give any constructive criticism if you have any.**

**Oh yes, I apologize for the long wait, but first I got grounded, and second, the computer kept freezing on me, and also, Football Season has started in Michigan, and for those of you who don't go to my school, that means _two-a-days!_ A two-a-day is two practices in one day, which basically means that it's a bitch to remain energized throughout the day. I just _love_ football…(read: dislike… severely…extremely… Chicken angry… CHICKEN SMASH… CHICKEN KILL FOOTBALL!)**

**Oh yes, and to answer a couple of questions… When the fish turned to ashes, and Sakura went berserk, the reason why she went berserk is that she was _really, fricking, hungry_. That was the only food they would have had for the last couple of days.**

**And another question. Why does Sakura hit Naruto if she's just going to cry about it later? Well, it's mostly because, instead of just a slap, as she originally intended, she hits him full out, causing unnecessary damage to him. Such as pinching the nerve in his spine, rendering him unable to walk for a short amount time, Causing internal bleeding, etcetera etcetera.**

**And yes, this is after the Time-Skip, but now they are roughly 18-19.**

**Why doesn't Naruto just summon Gamabunta and hop out of there? I've seen this particular question many times when it comes to stranded stories. The answer is… BECAUSE THERE WOULDN'T BE A STORY TO WRITE IF HE DID THAT! I don't get what people don't understand about that. If Naruto had summoned Gamabunta instead of falling of the cliff, what would I be writing about? So if you could please refrain from stupid questions such as this, I would really appreciate it.**

**That question also has a second answer to it, if you continue reading the story.**

**Oh yeah, another interruption, I will write these lemons uncensored, and it will be as they are written. If any of you have a problem with this, skip the lemon part of it. Sure, you'll be missing some of the story, but hey! It's your morals, not mine. So don't attempt to force them on me.**

**Anyway…**

**On with the story!**

**-- oh yeah… tell me if I suck at writing lemons… please.**

**Chapter 4 **( I love you guys, really, I do. You just keep on motivating me. Making me feel… (hushed voice, looking around in fear)… _youthful_)

"This is a great idea, Naruto!" Sakura yelled, laughing happily. She threw another kunai at the fish, swimming just beneath the surface. The morning sunlight dappling the surface; light bouncing everywhere from the splashes. They were back at the river, where Sakura had sent Naruto flying.

"I got one!" He yelled. She turned around, and her mouth dropped open. There was Naruto, wrestling with a fish, and this fish was _huge_! It had to be at least two feet long, and weigh at least ten pounds. It was blue-gray, with two pinkish orange stripes running down it's sides. It was covered in blue-black speckles.

"Naruto! That's HUGE! The twine we were using could never hold that!" She said, still surprised.

"I caught it bare handed!" Naruto exclaimed happily, throwing his still wriggling quarry onto the bank.

Sakura, jealous of her friends catch, yanked the kunai back using the string that was tied to the hilt. The single-bladed shuriken flew back at her at alarming speeds, but she caught it just inches from her face. She flipped the kunai into the air, watching the droplets spread out, sparkling and creating a miniature rainbow. She then caught it, and whipped it at the next fish.

She didn't expect, however, to actually spear one of them (Naruto had been catching most, if not all of the fish. She didn't care though, it was fun either way).

"Hey, HEY! I GOT ONE NARUTO!" Sakura screamed excitedly, as she began to pull in the line slightly.

"That's great Sakura-chan! Be careful though, you don't want to pull too hard and have it rip through the fish." Naruto advised, slowly walking towards her, carefully, so as to not spook the fish into panicking more than it already was. They didn't want it tearing away now, did they?

Sakura, still excited, and extremely nervous, gave it a too hard yank, ripping the fish from the water. They both watched, identical looks of wonder and shock on their faces. They kept on watching as the fish came closer and closer, kunai still lodged in it's back, near the tail fin. They watched it until, seemingly in slow motion, landed…

Right in Sakura's neckline.

"EEEEEEEK!" Sakura screamed, shoving as many E's, and exclamation marks, into her scream, as she felt the fish slide between her breasts. It felt slightly… erotic.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, as he hastened his movement through the water, creating waves as he splashed through the river, scattering the fish in every direction.

What neither of them noticed however, was how the _extremely_ sharp kunai had caught on the front of Sakura's dress, parting the fabric as if it were nothing. As the fish slipped further and further down her cleavage, so did the cut, until, after much wriggling and screaming on the behalf of Sakura, the fish fell out of her dress, via the now gaping hole in her shirt.

Naruto stopped, stunned. "uhhhh" was all he could say, staring at her now bared cleavage. It looked as if her apprenticeship to the Hokage had made her increase not only in her skills as a med-nin, but also in certain _other_ areas as well, as Naruto could plainly see.

Sakura, relieved that the fish was now out of her dress, looked at Naruto. She was wondering what he was staring at.

"What? Is there something on me?" she said, following his gaze. She looked down, realizing her parted garments could no longer containing her double-E surprise. Once she realized this, she wrapped her arms around herself, her face flushed so deep of a red, that it spread out to most of her upper body, which was clearly visible.

Naruto also blushed deeply, thoughts racing through his head. He had always imagined Sakura to be well endowed, but _DAMN!_ He didn't expect this. He barely noticed the blood streaming from his nose, down his face, dripping from his chin and landing on his jacket.

Sakura tried to take a step back, turning as if to hide herself, when she stepped on a wet rock… well a slime covered rock, considering that all rocks in rivers are wet anyway… Either way, she slipped and fell, splashing water everywhere, her breasts jiggling wildly as she landed.

They just stood there for a second, Sakura, mortified, and Naruto, well… highly aroused. Complete silence, except for the river's slight bubbling and splashing. Naruto noticed that Sakura had stood up, and that she was shivering.

"Ummm…" Naruto muttered, reluctantly averting his eyes from the beautiful sight before him. As much as he would like to force Sakura to walk around topless for the rest of their little predicament, he wouldn't, nay _couldn't_ allow Sakura to stand there getting cold. Though they had never noticed it before, the water was really only in the mid-40's to low-50's, not very far from freezing. They hadn't noticed it because they were having too much fun to notice it, even though that's something most people notice when entering the water.

Naruto unzipped his jacket, bloodstains and all, and walked over to and behind Sakura, who was hiding her embarrassment behind her bangs.

She was startled when she felt something warm being put around her shoulders. She looked down, to realize the warm something happened to be Naruto's jacket. And as he wrapped around her, so did his arms, coming full circle around so that they met, resting, on Sakura's prominent chest. His jacket just barely made it around them.

"Sakura-san, are you all right?" Naruto whispered in her ear, making her blush harder. She also noticed the change in honorifics, and was rather flattered by it. She loved the feel of his warmth next to hers, and the smell of his body on the jacket.

"Um… yes. Thanks for your con…" She turned her head, and was interrupted, by an accidental meeting of their lips.

Naruto, shocked, pulled his head away, staring at Sakura in wonder. Sakura had the same expression on her face.

"You… you j-j-just k-kissed me…" Sakura stuttered, touching her lips. She thought back to yesterday, where she had kissed him, before nearly killing him for ruining their food. Fortunately, he had recovered completely by morning, and had forgiven her. That was when he had suggested spearing the fish with kunai instead. Sakura had rather enjoyed her first kiss. Suprisingly, it was her first kiss.

"Yeah… sorry Sakura-sa…" Naruto was, rather pleasantly, interrupted by Sakura flinging her arms around his neck, and locking her lips to his.

Naruto, stunned once again, just stood there for a second, doing nothing. Then he wrapped his arms around her, and held her tight in a passionate embrace. They just stood there for a minute, in the cold water, kissing each other with fervor unknown. They broke apart to breath, though they did not want to part. After staring at each other for a few seconds, lust and passion showing in their eyes.

They resumed kissing each other, and Naruto was rather surprised when Sakura's tongue licked across his bottom lip. They paused for a second, lips still locked, tongue still on lip, and Naruto opened his mouth slightly to say something, and Sakura took her chance, putting her tongue between his lips and into his mouth.

Naruto, rather taken aback by how aggressive she was, pushed against her tongue with his. She just took this as encouragement, and continued their tongue-wrestling match.

Meanwhile, in all of this, neither of them realized that Sakura's new jacket had fallen open, never having been zipped up in the first place, exposing her breasts to the cool breeze that was blowing over the river.

Naruto felt to little points pressing against his chest. It didn't really occur to him that anything was wrong, still passionately making out with each other, until Sakura shivered against him. He felt the urge to look down, and discovered the source of the shivering, and also the source of those two little pressure points. He blushed, now closer than ever to Sakura's "charms", they being pressed up against him. The cold water and cool breeze, well, made her nipples harden. And they were pressed up against him. In fact, they were practically squashed against his chest.

"Uh, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, still staring down, a blush crossing his face.

"What?" Sakura replied, a little disappointed that Naruto had stopped kissing her. She was enjoying it.

"Ummmm… _they_ fell out." The embarrassed Uzumaki said, still looking down at Sakura's breasts.

"Huh… OH!" She said, pulling the jacket around her. She loved the instant warmth it granted her. She started zipping the jacket, when she encountered a problem.

"Naruto, could you help me zip this?" Sakura asked, blushing deeply. The zipper couldn't fit over her enormous breasts. She would have to squish them down, and Naruto would have to finish zipping.

"Yeah…" Naruto said, watching in amazement as Sakura took her hand off the zipper to the jacket. The zipper slid down a little, having too much pressure put on it.

"I need you to finish zipping this up." She told him. She pulled her arms out of the sleeves, arms still inside the jacket, and pressed down on her breasts. Naruto watched, and felt an erection coming on. He just stood there, brain dead, and watched Sakura compress her chest so that they would fit inside the jacket.

"Naruto!" Sakura yelled, realizing what happened. She reached a hand out of the jacket, and slapped Naruto in the face. This time, not so hard as to send him flying, but enough to make his head turn. "Help me now, I'll let you look at these later." She said, then realizing what she had said, turned a full-body blush.

"Sa-s-sa-sak-sakur…" Was all he said. It was as if someone had turned on a faucet in Naruto's nose, blood gushing out of it. Fortunately, none of it landed on Sakura as he passed out from bloodloss.

A few hours later, Sakura was sitting in front of a fire. Naruto lay next to her, still unconscious from the incident at the river. When he had passed out, Sakura was able to catch him and carry him to the riverbank. After that, she finally got the jacket to zip completely, after many minutes of wrestling with chest.

She blushed slightly, thinking back to what she had said to Naruto. She had said it without thinking, but realized she meant it.

She had realized a lot of things the moment he had kissed her accidentally, and even more when she had kissed him back. She realized that… she was in love. Not with Uchiha Sasuke, but with that stupid blonde idiot laying next to her. She also realized what she had been missing, all of those years chasing Sasuke before he left. She could have had all the love and attention she wanted from Naruto, who had pestered her for years for a date, instead of just hoping that Sasuke would finally look at her with kindness and love instead of hate and annoyance. And another thing she realized when the jacket had come undone during their making out, was that she was really, really, _really_ horny.

Sakura blushed deeply at that thought. She had felt him pressed up against her through the pair of tight shorts she wore underneath her dress. She had held him in her hand the day before. That long, thick length that was Naruto's manhood. Her blush deepened as she guessed at how big it was.

_11 inches maybe?_, she thought to herself, giggling slightly at the thought. These were the kinds of things that her, Tenten, Hinata, Ino, and Temari would talk about when they went out for a night on the town. Shopping, booze, and lots of talking about boys, being ninja, and current fashion styles. But usually whenever they started talking about boys, Hinata would put her fingers together, avert her gaze, and blush deeply, mumbling something that would start with "I wish…" and end with her mumbling about Kiba taking her out for a date, or something like that.

One time, Ino, Tenten, and Temari had gotten into a discussion about their _first times_. Sakura had been fascinated by this debate, as they discussed if it was more pleasurable then painful. But they all agreed that it got better each time. Hinata had just sat on Ino's couch, blushing deeply. Sakura thought back to what had happened…

/page break\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"So Hinata, has Kiba made a move on you yet?" Ino said drunkenly, elbowing her in the chest and winking.

"Uhhh…" Hinata muttered, blushing even deeper.

" Oooh! He HAS done something, hasn't he?" Ino squealed, swing the empty sake bottle she had been holding.

"Uh… yes, he did… and we… um… we…" Hinata stuttered, she couldn't finish her sentence, too embarrassed by Ino's proddings.

"Did the horizontal tango? Musicless dancing lessons? The bump and grind? Did he just plain fuck your brains out?" Ino inquired, getting right into Hinata's face. Hinata's head looked like it was about to explode from all the pressure.

"Ummmm… yeah, he… um… did…" Hinata muttered, her blush deepening still. But she had a slight smile on her face.

"OH MY GAWD!" The other three screamed, looking at Hinata in amazement. Sakura just looked at Hinata in horror. She had lost her virginity before Sakura did!

"Was it good?" Temari asked, her cheeks flushed. She swayed a little when she leaned forward.

"Yeah… it was… really… uh, good." Hinata muttered. Sakura couldn't believe that someone could blush that much and not pass out.

"Speaking of virginity, and losing thereof, Sakura… are you still one?" Tenten said, looking at Sakura. She seemed to be sober still.

This made Sakura turn red, red enough to almost match her cherry red shirt. "Yes, I am." She stated clearly. She hadn't touched anything but water since the night started. Well, water, and a little bit of wine, she not being one much for sake.

"Your shtill a virgin, with a rack like that?" Ino said, swaying dangerously. She reached over and grabbed one of Sakura's breasts. She gave it a squeeze. "Every man in Konoha has to be jacking off to your picture right now. How many dates have people ashked you out for?"

"Too many to count." Sakura stated, slapping her hand away. She didn't want to date any of the pigs that had asked her out, because all they did was stare at her chest. She had been on a couple with Naruto though. He was the only one that ever showed her any respect…

/pagebreak\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Naruto chose that moment to wake up, and rather loudly at that.

"AGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" Naruto screamed. Sakura looked at him in concern. She saw that he was sweating horribly, and the look of horror on his face, made her concern deepen.

"Naru…"

"Sakura!" Naruto yelled grabbing her in a tight embrace. He was sobbing into her shirt.

"Oh god! Sakura I thought I lost you! I thought you were dead!" Naruto cried into her chest.

Sakura, confused now more than ever, just stroked his hair as he cried. "Naruto, what are you talking about?"

"I-in my dream!" Naruto sobbed, "Orochimaru took you! He did terrible things! Oh god Sakura, I thought you died!" He continued crying. Sakura, shocked by this revelation, just sat there.

"Naruto, it was just a dream. I'm still here." She said softly, lifting his face so he would look at her. She kissed him on the forehead. "I'm not leaving, and I won't leave you. I love you too much to leave you now."

Naruto lay there, stunned. The beautiful woman that he was crying on, his Sakura-chan, the girl he had wanted since he had met her, the one who had rejected him so many times, never going on a single serious date, had just admitted that she loved him. He zoned out.

Sakura began to unzip her jacket, " I'll give you proof that I love you." She pulled the zipper down until it hit the bottom.

Noticing what she was doing, Naruto remembered something. "But Sakura-chan, you don't have anything coveri… MMPHMPHM!" He was interrupted by Sakura shoving his mouth onto her breast. He just stared up at Sakura in shock. She looked back into the cerulean pools that were Naruto's eyes. Naruto saw something in Sakura's eyes, a sign or some sort of signal, that it was okay. Slowly, Naruto began to suckle her breast.

"Oh sweet Kami!" Sakura groaned, rolling her head back as Naruto grabbed her nipple in between his teeth, he pulled gently on it. She groaned more and more as he stretched her nipple and her breast farther and farther.

"Stop it! I can't take it any more!" She screamed, and not in pain either. This was the greatest thing she had ever felt. Naruto released the breast, and watched it jiggle back into place. She groaned even more when he turned his attention to her other breast. He found her groaning to be one of the most erotic things he had ever seen, heard, felt, or read. And he had read a lot.

He began to remove the rest of her jacket, still suckling, and went from there, to just ripping the rest of the remains of her dress off. She lay pressed against him, wearing nothing but skin-tight black shorty-shorts. He realized something though. Her bra was still hanging off the sides of her breasts, the cloth and wire cut perfectly down the middle.

He thought that maybe they could salvage it, but those thoughts were forgotten when her realized that the area between Sakura's legs were wet, and they had begun soaking into his the cloth of his pants. Naruto had an idea.

Sakura looked down, a flush across her face, as she watched Naruto lower his head until it was positioned mid-thigh, just below the line of her shorts. He kissed the inside of her thigh, making Sakura shudder involuntarily.

"Mmmm, so good… I wonder what the rest would taste like?" He said, nibbling on the inside of her thigh. Sakura blushed, groaning louder.

She jumped with a surprised "EEP!" as Naruto licked right down the crease of her legs.

"Off." Naruto said, tugging on the edge of her shorts. She complied instantly, nearly ripping off her shorts in the process. She didn't though, because they would be the only clothing she had left besides her undies.

She stood there, clad in nothing but a pair of white Fruit-of-the-Loom panties, blushing her head off, while Naruto looked at her with a combination of lust, love, and passion.

"Underwear too." Naruto muttered, pointing at said apparel. He could feel an erection throbbing in his pants.

"Ok" was all that she could say. She began to pull down on her panties, but Naruto decided that she wasn't pulling fast enough. He was right there, sliding her panties down to her feet. When she stepped out of them, Naruto looked up, and was greeted by pink fuzz, and a pair of pouting lips. He grinned, and kissed those lips. Sakura "Eep!"ed and stepped back. Naruto crawled forward, and kissed them again. Sakura was about to take another step back when she felt Naruto's arms wrap around her waist, holding her still. She looked down and saw a mischievous grin on his face, right before he plunged his face into her crotch. He began to lick around her labia, playing with her, making her groan some more. He lowered his arm, so that it was still wrapped around her leg, and gave her butt a squeeze.

She squealed in surprise, and moved forward, and was met by Naruto's tongue entering her. She groaned, leaning back a little, grabbing his hair in her fists. He licked, up, and brushed across her nub. That made her jump. He grabbed the little nub between his teeth, and pulled it a little, then began playing with it some more.

"Oh kami!" she squealed, as she began to feel a pressure building within her. That pressure became greater and greater as Naruto's ministrations continued. She couldn't take it any more, as that great pressure released, right on Naruto's face.

He looked up at her, her juices splashed across his mouth, and grinned. He got up, grabbed the jacket, laid it down, then laid Sakura down upon the jacket. She looked up at him lazily, following his movements, and watched as he pulled down his pants and boxers. What she saw both terrified and excited her. She hadn't been paying attention earlier, but now noticed he was circumcised, and he stood proud and tall. But he looked like he would be too big to fit inside her.

As he lay down on top of her, she could feel that length pressed against her stomach. When he fully covered her, he kissed her. Sakura could taste herself on his lips, and then opened her mouth to began to lick the rest of her juices off of his face. When she was done, Naruto kissed her fiercely and roughly, almost forcing her mouth open with his tongue. He reached and grabbed her breasts, and began to play with them, bouncing them, squeezing them, pinching them, making her feel that pressure begin to build again.

"Do you think you're ready?" Naruto asked, looking down at her. The pink haired beauty under him just smiled, and nodded silently. Naruto got up on his knees, and spread her legs wide. He placed himself at her entrance, looking down at her one last time. She moved her hips a little, pushing against him. He took that as a confirmation, and began to push himself into her. It was tight. So very, very tight. He forced himself a little farther in, and she moaned, clenching her fists. He pushed a little farther, and encountered resistance. _The moment of truth…,_ Naruto thought. He closed his eyes, and forced himself through the barrier. He could feel Sakura flinch all around him. He slowly pushed in, then lay down on her, half-in half-out, letting her get accustomed to his size. He realized that a couple of tears were rolling down her cheek, and he wiped them away. He planted his lips at the base of her neck.

"Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" He mumbled into her neck. He couldn't stand to think that he had hurt his Sakura-chan.

"No… I'm okay." She said, lifting his head. She kissed him passionately on the lips. "You didn't hurt me too much, but the pain is gone now. I want you to finish what you started." She grinned at him. His face cracked open in a grin.

"Alrighty!" he said. He began to push the rest of himself inside. Sakura groaned, as she felt him going deeper, and deeper. Then he bumped against something, sending a wave of pleasure up her spine.

"Dear kami, do that again!" She moaned, grabbing his hair in bunches. Naruto did as commanded, and pulled out a little, then pushed back in, hitting that same spot. She squealed, pulling on his hair. He began to pull himself out farther, until he reached her entrance, then pushed himself back in slowly.

The pressure building inside of Sakura was unbearable, as Naruto began to speed up his thrusts. She groaned louder and louder, begging for release.

Naruto began to feel his own climax coming on, and began to thrust harder and harder, until he too had an unbearable pressure building.

"Naruto!" Sakura screamed, as she and he orgasmed together, him shooting his semen into her. They went limp on top of each other, panting heavily. After a few minutes the began a fierce tongue-wrestling match.

"Naruto? How did you know what to do?" She asked a few hours later. By the position of the moon, it was nearing midnight. They sat around their fire, eating their catch from earlier. Sakura never thought fish could taste so good.

"Ummm… Well, after traveling with Jiraya for about a year, he began writing his dirty books again, claiming that he should have something to do in his free time. After a while, he began to ask me to review his books for him, and had me edit some of them." He said, blushing.

"So all your sexual knowledge came from Icha Icha Paradise?" She asked incredulously.

"Uhhh… yeah, basically." He mumbled, averting his eyes. Damn those accursed books!

" Well… that's not the first place I would have went if I wanted to learn what to do during sex. But I don't care." She said, shrugging.

" You aren't angry?" He asked, looking back up at her.

" Naruto, I love you. I don't care where you learned how. I just want you to promise me that you will never again touch one of Jiraya's vile writings!" She said, a fire igniting in her eyes.

" I promise!"

"That's good… Now come here!" she yelled, jumping on him, knocking the remains of his fish from his hands. Smothering him, she began to kiss him fiercely, forcing _her_ tongue into his mouth.

That made out for about twenty minutes, and laid down upon each other. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sakura's waist, and she wrapped hers around his neck. And that's how they fell asleep, Sakura laying on top of Naruto, and their arms wrapped around each other.

**So did you like it? Was I any good at writing lemons? Please tell me, I would like to know.**

**If you didn't notice, this page was nearly five times as long as the other ones. Don't expect that to happen often.**

**And for those who fell that their relationship was rushed, well, nothing I can do about that.**

**Thanks. R&R. **


	5. Chapter 5 Return of Chicken!

**I am so friggin' glad to finally update this thing! It's been nearly five months, and people will be so excited to finally be able to get the next chapter of Trapped!!!**

**And for those of you who will be disappointed with the ending of this chapter, I apologize in advance. For I KNOW there will be those of you disappointed in me, but hey! Read my ending author's note once you're done!!**

**(I am so tired!! The ending of this chap is going to be very weird)**

**And now for a chapter introduction by Gai and Lee!!!**

**Gai: SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!! EXPLOSION!!! (Large harmless, but loud explosion… well… explodes)**

**Lee: WHAT HE SAID!! (what he said!)**

**Gai: Today, we give you another youthful chapter from this amazingly youthful author!!**

**Lee: What he said!**

**Gai: And today is also the day I give Lee a died pink Mohawk, pierced ears, and shave his eyebrows!**

**Lee: What he said!! Wait….**

**Gai: HAHAHAHAHA!! (Whips out a pair of youthful scissors)**

**Lee: (screaming in panic and running for his life) Enjoy the youthful story!! AGGGHHHHHHHH!!!**

**Warning: The ending of this story should be extremely funny, and extremely anti-climatic. For those of you who expected something exciting to happen, or another lemon, well, your screwed (pardon the pun). I am the author, and I have decide to end it all with a short chapter with an ending that should get all of you to laugh… at least those of you with souls…

* * *

**

"Gamakitchi, if you've taken us the wrong way, I'm going to kill you, summon you again, kill you again, and repeat until I've either run out of chakra, or I've felt justice is done." Naruto said grimly. They had been sprinting after the toad in an easterly direction for the last five hours, and so far, nothing new had been spotted, just miles upon miles of canyon walls.

_How'd this ravine get here, anyway?_, Naruto thought to himself, as they continued running. Occasionally they would pass by waterfalls, ponds, and one time they had passed a deserted hut. They had went inside to see if anyone or anything was in there, but the smell of bear and rotting flesh made them leave quickly.

Naruto was too lost in his thoughts to notice the log laying directly in his path. Actually, he did notice it, but not until he had tripped over it, making him land in a surprisingly deep puddle that lay behind it.

"I know I've been in this canyon before…. But I don't remember it being so long. It was only a few miles each way, last time. I coulda sworn there was some sort of exit this way…" The large toad said, stopping in confusion. That was Naruto's first clue that something was up, not to be realized until later. Naruto pulled himself with a loud _sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp!!_, sound from the puddle of muck.

"Can we take a break? I'm getting tired," came Sakura's voice, a few feet behind him. Naruto turned around to look at Sakura. Sakura stopped her heavy breathing for a second while staring at him, then burst out laughing. Naruto glared at her in confusion.

"You look… HAHAHA… like… You look like a… HAHAHA… like a…" She couldn't even finish her sentence, she was laughing so hard. She sat down on the ground, still laughing.

"What's so funny?" He felt a few glops of mud drop from his hair. He suddenly heard Gamakitchi's laughter from behind him, and he turned to glare at the frog (toad, sorry). Gamakitchi only laughed harder when he saw Naruto's face. The summon was rolling around and around, his short legs gyrating as his hysterical laughter increased. His rolling became more violent, sending him farther and farther with each turn. He suddenly hit a dip, and began rolling down a small incline about ten yards long.

The toad wasn't even paying attention, he was laughing so hard. His momentum was increasing as he reached the half-way point, and he kept on rolling. He abruptly reached the end of the hill, and Naruto heard a ripping sound. Both he and Sakura looked towards the end of the hill, and realized there was… something. Something that looked like a tear in a screen.

Naruto helped Sakura stand, and they began to walk cautiously towards the rip. They noticed the trees didn't look as real now, the bushes looked _painted_ on, nicely and done extremely realistically, but still painted. A single thought popped up in both of their heads at the same time. _Sai._ Sai had something to do with this.

They suddenly heard hushed whispering coming from behind the painted screen, and they could pick up a few words here and there.

"…Stupid frog…"

"…thing's… ruin everything…"

"… nice going… Gamakitchi."

"My painting!"

Naruto recognized the last two voices, and the other two sounded familiar. Jiraiya and Sai were behind that screen! And he was pretty sure that Shizune and Ino were back there two. Sakura realized the same thing as him, and knew that at least Ino was back there too. They crept stealthily towards the hole, and peeked into it. They could see people's legs and a few silhouettes standing behind a tablecloth a few feet away. They glanced at each other, nodded, and grabbed the edges of the screen. Together they pulled, ripping the beautiful painting in half.

Suddenly, everyone behind that had been back there stopped, pausing in their bickering. They stared at the blonde and the pinkette, blinking in confusion. Naruto could see a large cake, a pile of gifts, Sai, Jiraiya, Shizune, Old man Ichiraku, Ichiraku Ayame, Neji, Tenten, Lee, the Rookie Nine, Tsunade, Kakashi, Gai, and a legless man with one arm laying beneath a table. They were all dressed festively, and for some reason Neji was wearing an apron and a chef's hat.

Jiraiya, who had been crouching down, inspecting Gamakitchi, stood up, turned towards Naruto, put his hand on his head, and shoved him out. Naruto flew back a few feet and hit the ground, and felt Sakura land on him a few moments later, knocking the wind out of him.

"Stay there for a moment and come back when we tell you to!" Jiraiya yelled. Naruto looked up, still trying to breathe, and saw his sensei take the two halves of the screen and bring them together. He then heard the tearing of tape as Jiraiya attempted to fix the screen.

He heard the hushed voices again and the scrambling of people. Sakura rolled off of him, and helped him stand up. They then stood there and watched the screen, wondering what everyone was doing. A voice shouted from behind the torn painting.

"Alright! You can come in now!"

They walked forward, and pushed the screen apart. It was dark now, and they couldn't see anything but silhouettes. Suddenly, bright party lights flashed on, blinding them both as they heard everyone shout "SURPRISE!!"

"Happy birthday Naruto!"

"Congratulations!"

"Your flames of youth burn even brighter this day, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto was surrounded by his friends, all of them poking, prodding, shaking his hands, and laughing. He was suddenly glomped by Ino and Tenten as they each gave him a kiss on the cheek and shouted "Happy Birthday!"

Everything became deathly quiet as they felt a killer aura emanating from the direction of the entrance. Everyone turned to see Sakura standing there, her eyes gleaming with rage as she glared at Ino and Tenten. She ripped off her protective gloves and cracked her knuckles. The pinkette let out a banshee shriek, and charged.

Ino and Tenten ran for their lives as Sakura screamed, cursing and threatening them with untold pain.

"Get back here you pig! And you too Madam Pointy! I'll kill you for touching Naruto, you harlots!" She screamed, giving another burst of speed as she began to close the distance between them.

Everyone stared at the sight of the three girls running around the party area, two sprinting for their lives and the third trying to end them. Lee turned to Naruto to ask him if he wanted any cake.

"Yeah, thanks." Naruto agreed, heading towards the table with the giant birthday cake on it. Everyone followed him, eager to get their share of the cake too.

An hour later, when the three girls had calmed down, but not without a severe bruising, and everyone had had cake, Naruto spoke up.

"This is great cake! Who made it?!" He piped, holding his empty plate in the air. Everyone stopped and turned towards Neji, who seemed pleased with himself.

"That would be me, thank you." He said, picking up the cake tray, which had a few pieces on it still; he set it on the ground for Akamaru to finish. The dog dug into it happily.

"I didn't know you could cook." Sakura said, setting her plate down so she could drink her glass of punch.

"Hinata-sama taught me! And this was my first cake too!"

"Since when have you been so happy? You're usually a stoic asshole who has a stick shoved up his but." Naruto said bluntly. Neji stood up and took out a bottle of pills from his apron pocket.

"Tsunade-sama gave these to me!" He said with a grin, giving the bottle a shake. It looked kind of creepy on his normally grim face. Everyone turned to look at the blonde Hokage, who shrugged.

"I thought it would be for the better of all if he at least was a little more exciting than a fungus." Everyone had to agree with that.

"And another question… how'd you guys find us? I thought we would be stuck down here for forever!" Naruto asked. Sakura nodded in agreement, as did Gamakitchi. Gamakitchi could've gone home to wherever summons came from at any time, but he had decided to stick with Naruto to help him out.

Everyone went silent, and Ino and Hinata shuffled their feet in embarrassment. Naruto looked questioningly at everyone, and Sakura refilled her punch. Tsunade was the first to speak.

"We… kinda put you down here." She said, averting her gaze. Naruto fell backwards in surprise, and Sakura spewed punch as they both stared at the group.

"W-w-what!" they both stuttered, trying to figure out if they were joking. Tenten spoke next.

"You remember how Naruto tripped?" She asked, as she too shuffled her feet in embarrassment.

"Y-yeah… wait! How'd you know that?" Sakura said, wiping juice from her mouth.

"Exactly… he tripped over one of my specially placed tripwires." Tenten said, her face flushed in embarrassment.

"So you guys meant for me and Sakura to have sex?!" Naruto shouted, his fists clenched. No one had expected that. Sakura smacked him on the back of the head, and everyone stared at them. Suddenly, Hinata fainted, and Lee began to rant about how "Sakura's youthfulness has been compromised!"

"N-no, we didn't… that was just a bit of a side effect. We were, however, trying to get you two to realize that you were in love with each other." Tsunade spoke, rubbing the back of her head. "No hard feelings?"

Red chakra began to pour from Naruto's body as he clenched his fists. The killer intent from earlier began to pour out of Sakura again as she began to pull off her gloves.

"First one to twelve wins?" Naruto said, a feral grin upon his face.

"Dead or unconscious?" Sakura asked with an identical grin.

"Unconscious will do, but dead is fine." They both began to charge the group, and everyone began to scream and scramble around comically. The first victim was Hinata, but she was already unconscious, and the second to go down was the one-armed man. Then Akamaru and Jiraiya fell down to their wrathful onslaught. The two chased the other seventeen around the entire ravine, screaming, swearing, and cursing at them the entire time.

Gamakitchi only shook his froggy head. He hopped over to Jiraiya, kicked him in the head, and hopped back to the table with the punch on it. He jumped onto the table, grabbed one of the paper cups, and filled it to the brim. The summon began to guzzle down drink after drink, until he finally became too full to drink anymore. He then hopped over to the table with the gifts on it, and began to open them, taking most of whatever he opened.

"Ooh… these are nice shuriken."

"Hey! Make your own ramen!"

" 'Jyuuken In Ten Steps or Less'… that could come in handy… Thank you Neji!"

"Paint-by-numbers… how to paint a penis. The tag says '_To Dickless_'… wonder who that's from? …"

" '_Icha Icha Paradise, Return to Paradise: Special Edition'_… Kakashi, no doubt… now mine."

"_A guide to being youthful, written by Maito Gai, audio tape done by Rock Lee_… Gee, three guesses who gave him this!"

"Naruto would've kicked your ass if he hadn't already Jiraiya." Gamakitchi muttered, opening the biggest gift left on the table. It was the complete Icha Icha series, all autographed by the author, along with a two-year subscription to _BKM_ (Beautiful Konoichi Monthly (as in pornographic, not "I wanna be a pretty girl")), and one bulk package of assorted condoms. He shook his head, stuffing the condoms and the _BKM_ subscription into a large bag he had procured from under one of the tables, where he also put the other gifts.. He already had the complete _Icha_ series, and so left that there with the paint-by-number, the "youthful" guide, and the prosthetic arm that he hadn't made a comment about. There were several other packages left unopened, but he didn't care. He had a huge bag full of great gifts, and he was quite happy with them.

"Gamakitchi! What're you doing?!" A feral scream came from behind him. The toad summon whipped around to face a calmer looking, but still kyuubified Naruto. He appeared to be dragging Tsunade by the hair, and there was a long trail of some red substance pooling behind her. Naruto appeared to be eating something large and oblong, appearing to be about two fists put together. It gave off a thick red spurt every time the kyuubi boy bit into it, leaving thick gooey red stuff on his face.

Gamakitchi, screaming in fear of being eaten now that he had been caught, poof-ed off to Summon Land with his large bag of stolen gifts. Naruto just stared at the cloud of dust/smoke stuff that was left behind. Shrugging, he dragged Tsunade and placed her on top of a pile of bodies. He had claimed so far Old Man Ichiraku, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Hinata didn't count, so Neji, Fuzzy Eyebrows, Ino, Chouji, Sai, Shikamaru, and Tenten. Oh! And the one-armed man too! So that made eleven total, and…

"Twelve for me! I win!" Sakura shouted triumphantly from behind Naruto. Naruto turned around, and found that Sakura was dragging behind her Gai and Ayame Ichiraku. Gai appeared to be unconscious, while Ayame had a conspicuously thick red blotch over her left breast, where there was also a rather large tear. Naruto couldn't see anything more, but when Sakura stuck them on top of her pile of casualties, he noticed that she pulled out a thick red object similar to Naruto's, except it was somewhat smaller than the one he was holding. A revelation came over Naruto.

"Oh my god! Is that Ayame's HEART you're eating?!" Naruto screamed, pointing at Sakura with the hand that was holding the red thing he had been chewing on. A couple of red drops fell off it, splashing on the ground. Sakura stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing, spitting a thick red liquid everywhere.

"No! Whatever gave you that idea, baka kitsune? I'm just eating a giant pomegranate I found in the woods while we were chasing them, and I decided I was a little hungry. However, Captain Bimbo over here," she said, kicking Gai, " decided that he would attempt to 'slay the youthful dragon that had taken over his adorable student's beloved'. I proceeded to kick his ass, and Ayame also happened to be running by, so I just clothes-lined her, and it seems to have shattered some sort of container of sauce that had been in her breast pocket. Might I ask what you're eating then? I'm hoping it's not Tsunade-sensei's heart… those are a bitch to heal, if it's not too late."

Naruto just looked at her funnily, wondering what she was talking about. For a second he just stood there, and a couple of birds began chirping. He could also here a couple of grasshoppers… well, grasshopping, or whatever. Suddenly he realized what she was babbling about.

"Oh! You mean this?" He said, holding up the juicy object.. He shook his head and laughed. "No no no! This is just a giant strawberry I found! I found it in this small off-shoot of the ravine, and it also turned out oba-chan was there too. You know, her love of strawberries and all that… anyway, during the fight, she happened to have a bottle of red wine in her robes, and that broke when I knocked her out!"

"So what do we do now that we've conked everyone?" Sakura asked, sitting down in one of the chairs that were in the clearing, picking up one of the plates with cake on it. She continued to eat her pomegranate, though. She just wanted something to eat once she was done with it.

"Well… we could always wait for the next chapter to start!" Naruto said enthusiastically, pulling up a chair next to Sakura's. He started back on his strawberry again, while he was oblivious to Sakura's confused staring.

"What'd you just say?" She asked, staring at Naruto like he was insane. Next chapter of what? Naruto paused in his consumption of the giant fruit, looking as if he was thinking hard about something. Sakura noticed those smooth, juice covered lips… and that strong, masculine jaw… and those deep blue eyes…

"Huh?" Naruto said, having no clue whatsoever what Sakura was talking about.

"Nevermind. Just shut up and kiss me!" She said, grabbing his head and pulling him in for a passionate kiss. Naruto quickly complied, slipping his tongue into the mix, and soon they had forgotten about not only their mutant fruit, but the slowly awakening audience they had left in piles off to the side. Hinata had been the first to wake up, but had fainted instantly after witnessing Naruto and Sakura making hot, wild, passionate love not twenty feet from her. Then the others woke up, leading to a very awkward situation. However, no one commented about anything until they had finished their public fornication.

And everyone lived happily ever after…

The End….

Or is it?

* * *

**FYI: If this story seems to have degenerated to a very strange piece of righting… it has. I was so friggin' sleep deprived while writing the end of this chapter, it was unbelievable. I can barely think straight.**

**Anyway, I'm delivering an ultimatum…  
30 reviews, and I add another chapter, where'll a lot of things will be explained.  
Anything less, and in a month or two (or three) I'll mark it as "complete" and be forever done with this, leaving every single reader who ever reads this story wondering how it went from slapstick-comedy, to slapstick-romance, to crack fic-style ending.**

**R&R, dear reviewers, R&R.**

**Sincerely,**

**ChickenDeNoodleyNoodle the Third**

**And for the love of God… will somebody give me ONE negative comment! (But I don't want everyone to listen to this… I would like to at least feel somewhat good about my writing. So if someone wants to flame, but they don't want to offend anyone… I officially give you permission to flame me and my over-use of the ellipses (…))**

**(So please… no torrents of flaming. Just brown the outside a little, will ya?)**

**And yes, if this is too stupid for me to read when I'm awake… I'm gonna fix something… maybe.**

**Sincerely (again),**

**ChickenDeNooodleyNoodle the Third, most youthful, and extremely tired, of all chickens.**


	6. Chapter 6 Just to let you Know

Lol, I just thought I would let you all know that I am indeed working on the sixth chapter. When it'll be done, I have no clue. But I am honestly hoping to finish it by New Years, as well as my other stories.

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY VERY LITTLE ACCESS TO THE INKRENET!! (Lol, yes. I am entirely aware I spelled "internet" wrong) SCHOOL AND SPORTS INTERFERE LIKE A BITCH!! And so does going to my dad's house, actually.

Lol, forgive me, peoples...

-ChickenDeNoodleyNoodle the Third


End file.
